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Tuesday Funny!

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are.

But I laugh more.

Monday Funny!

Q: What do you call a french guy in sandals?

A: Phillipe Phloppe.

Friday’s Funny!

The good, the bad and the ugly…

Good: Your husband is not talking to you.
Bad: He wants a divorce.
Ugly: He’s a lawyer.
Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He’s a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.

Good: You give ‘the birds and the bees’ talk to your 14-year-old daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections

Thursday Funny!

Deer Hunting cartoons, Deer Hunting cartoon, funny, Deer Hunting picture, Deer Hunting pictures, Deer Hunting image, Deer Hunting images, Deer Hunting illustration, Deer Hunting illustrations

Wednesday Funny!

Deer cartoons, Deer cartoon, funny, Deer picture, Deer pictures, Deer image, Deer images, Deer illustration, Deer illustrations

TUESDAY’S FUNNY!

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MONDAY’S FUNNY!

Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.

Friday Funny!

A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?” The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.” “Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?” She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation.”

Thursday Funny!

My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

Wednesday Funny!

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

Wednesday Funny!

A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence. “My father grows beans,” said one girl. “My mother cooks beans,” said a boy. A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”

Tuesday Funny!

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Monday Funny!

I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish.

Friday Funny!

What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked in to the office? I can clearly see “you’re” nuts….

Thursday Funny!

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Texas Couple Lands Record Setting ‘McNugget Bass’ With Dollar Menu Bait

A man in Texas recently broke a lake record with a largemouth bass, and you won’t believe what he had tied on as bait.

While fishing on Bardwell Lake in Ennis, Texas, a couple caught a record smashing largemouth bass using a chicken nugget from McDonalds.

The bass was officially listed as a new lake record when it measured 24½ inches long and weighed in at 10.802 pounds!

Now, a fish of this magnitude is impressive in and of itself, but the fact that a McNugget was what lured this fish in, might be a game changer.

We spend a lot of time looking at weather reports and talking with friends to find out what the fish are biting, when all along you could be jigging a nugget and catching record setting bass. Is anyone else tempted to rig up a Big Mac and see what happens?

Tuesday Funny!

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Monday Funny!

When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.

Thursday Funny!

A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence. “My father grows beans,” said one girl. “My mother cooks beans,” said a boy. A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”

Monday Funny!

I named my hard drive “dat ass” so once a month my computer asks if I want to ‘back dat ass up’.